Philippians 2:3 How To Respect Yourself And Others. The Best Form Of Respect Is Self Respect. My Int
In this series, I have been sharing personal events from my life. I have been explaining how these specific events have prompted in me the creation of destructive belief systems, which have negatively impacted many areas of my life. I have also been sharing the new affirmations that I am declaring as I replace the old belief systems.
This post has floated around in my notes on my phone for over a month. The notes eventually made it to my email. Then, I finally imported them into the blog rough drafts. The challenge that I faced was, how to write about a topic that has been written about so extensively by experts in the field? I decided to take the angle that: Educating oneself in the subjects of self-esteem, self worth and value of the self, have to be some of the most overlooked, misunderstood and underutilized, interpersonal relationship causes, that are quintessential to leading a happy life.
Easter Event At My (old) Church.
Maybe the reason why this post has taken me so long to write is because i wasn't ready to write it. Maybe i still had some life experience to live and learn from before this post was ready to be written. Any strong believing Christian will defend the point of view that things happen on God's timing and not our own.
Trusting this belief, I will share that I had a major event happen in my life on Sunday, April 1, 2018. Here is the blog. What was I willing to sacrifice in order to declare and maintain my self value, my self worth and my self respect? I now understand that a Church is just a guide and a tool. God is always within us and anyone who tries to imply otherwise is not worth following in Jesus name.
The topic of self respect, respect for others and responsibility for one's own actions (Dalai Lama's 3 RES), had been strong on my mind for months. The notes I began taking one month ago were due to the specific interpersonal relationships mentioned in that Church blog. Now that the situation has run its course, I have been able to come back to this post and finish it.
Sharing My Mistakes Will Either Cause Readers To Judge Me Or Learn From Them. I'm Sharing. The Readers Choice Is Their Own.
The decision to write a series of blogs about how my different emotionally charged traumatic events throughout my life prompted the creation of destructive belief system sets, that specifically impacted my self esteem and how i relate to others, was born out of a single post that reminded me of how painful and traumatic events can cause the most fervent of Christians to turn on God's love. Here is that post.
In my prior blogs I shared my very personal experiences of how my romantic relationships have been affected. In blog6, I shared in detail how an experience when i was 8 years old affected every single area of my life. My self esteem, interpersonal relationships in general and how society views women, were some of the areas affected.
It is my belief that we all have our own God given purposes. I have begun to accept that the number of out of the norm situations that I've been exposed to in my life, have a God-purpose reason. As I embrace the possibility that sharing my experiences may help someone find God, I shed the shame others have bestowed upon me as a projection of their own need to grow. No shame here, only lessons learned.
What Values Are Your Children Learning From Your Behavior?
It is my personal opinion that depending on our socioeconomic background, we are raised with belief systems that constantly circle back to money. In India this is clear thru their caste system. In the United States, this is clear on your parent's profession.
Some people teach their children to look down on others less fortunate and see them as not equals due to their skin color, the child's parents' income level, or due to the neighborhood where they live. The lessons are imbedded into children's belief systems thru the parents' actions, and not the parents' words. Would a licensed professional leave your comment below, to agree or disagree with my personal points of view?
Interpersonal Relationships, Their Dynamics, And How To Effectively Navigate The Difficult Interactions Is Probably The Single Most Overlooked And Most Needed Skill Set In Society.
In a recent example, I was invited to a church group, sponsored by my prior church. I was asked to take a dish. Due to my dietary lifestyle, i chose to take a salad that i could actually eat. Instead of taking a cut crystal salad bowl worth hundreds dollars, i took a disposable platter filled with organic veggies. When I walked in, one of the group members (who is pregnant, named "June") began telling me that my dish looked disgusting, the platter was cheap-looking and after some time she asked me to remove it from the table because people were feeling uneasily looking at the spinach, lettuce and raw veggie mix. (The pastor later stated that this could never have happened, because she's a good lady.) The church group leader ("Patricia") was laughing hysterically as this woman berated me. After i finished my salad, I wrapped up the remainder and took it home, where we happily ate the organic vegetables.
I believe with all of my being that God has given me a life full of stories to share. If I were not meant to be a writer and if i were not meant to share these stories, I probably would have nothing to write about and no blog.
This story is not about a church group being catty and nasty to a new member (me). This is a story detailing how the amount of money in your bank or the hours put into volunteering at your church, these facts are independent when it comes to facing destructive belief systems created from past emotional traumatic events. When we choose to not properly address the highly emotional, hurtful, painful traumatic events, we tend to carry them until the day that we die, whereby discarding other people's humanity in an effort to self protect.
Yes, my humanity was disregarded but only because these women have some unresolved highly emotional traumatic events in their past which they have chosen to not address. Also, they are behaving in a manner that is not with self respect towards themselves. Their inconsideration towards me is more about their lack of humanity for themselves than it is about my presence or the raw vegetables themselves.
How Do We Show Respect For Ourselves, Show Respect For Others And Accept Responsibility For Our Behavior? (Dalai Lama's 3 RES)
The three RES by Dalai Lama: Respect for others, respect for yourself and responsibility for your actions.
Others learn how to love you and respect you thru your own example of how you love and respect yourself.
The one thing that i can control is how i treat myself.
The best form of respect is self respect.
When I respect myself, others will see that i will not settle for less.
If I do not respect myself, it is difficult to demand others to respect me.
People will not treat me any better than i treat myself.
How I treat myself is how I invite the world to treat me.
I refuse to loose my self respect trying to make people love me and appreciate me, when they are not capable.
Regardless of the circumstance, I always hold myself to a high standard of elegance and grace.
Loving myself invites others to love me. I will settle for nothing less than the respect that i deserve.
I am not required to set myself on fire to keep others warm.
Many people make the mistake of expecting others to treat them in a more loving way than they are willing to treat themselves.
Respect Comes To Ladies Who Respect Themselves.
Women's pictures on social media include heavily exposed bodies with very sexual language or sexual posing. (I too have a Facebook picture of me against a wall, wearing black mid-length shorts with an off the shoulder blouse that my mother absolutely dislikes. It is just shorts and a blouse! She doesn't like it.)
However, posting heavily exposed pictures for a few likes may have the following consequences. 1. Men who see those pictures no longer consider your body sacred. It is now a free for all. 2. If she shows THAT on the internet, what will she do for me in private? Ladies, do you want men thinking of you in this way? 3. That is NOT marriage material. 4. That is a late night call material woman and never anything serious. 6. Those pictures attract the type of men who DO NOT respect women. 7. When other women see those pictures, the women will be judged by their insecurities. 8. When children see those pictures, they will laugh or worse. 9. When your family sees your pictures, they may feel shame. 10. When your friends see them, they may reconsider having you in their social media circle.
Jeremiah 1:5 He Knew Us In The Womb.
Human being are very special to our father God. He thinks of us in love and in love we are chosen with a purpose, even before we are formed in the womb. Being part of this world, a world that has entitlement, pride, selfishness, narcissism, hurt, pain, suffering, trauma, rejection, etc is not what we were created for.
We are in this world but not of this world.
2 Timothy 1:7 God Gave Us A Spirit Of Power.
Respect Yourself Enough To Let Go Of Someone, Something Or Someplace That Doesn't Treat You With Respect Or Tries To Diminish Your Self Worth.
Don't try to convince someone of your self worth. If they don't appreciate you, they don't deserve you. Respect yourself and love yourself enough to only surround yourself with people who value you.
1 Timothy 4:4 Everything Created By God Is Good.
If You Are Requiring Me To Explain Myself, My Actions Or My Beliefs (Repeatedly), Then You Do Not Respect Me. If You Do Not Respect Me, You Do Not Love Me.
The way that i give my name to others is a measure of how much i like and respect myself. Do you allow others to give you any nickname or do you forgo a preferred name, just because others call you that?
The manner in which we choose to allow others to address us is a sign of self respect and self worth. Think of this example. Will the Queen of England, or any royal family in the world, allow anyone to refer to them as we wish? Or do they have heavily guarded protocol under which they are addressed?
This is self respect, self worth and the creation of value. How you allow others to speak to you is the initial point of how others will respect you.
My legal name is long and there are many variables to it. I am clear when i meet someone that my name is Elizabeth. No deviations from that. No shorter versions are accepted by me, because my name has been Elizabeth since birth and I am not about to allow anyone, except God, to change my name. This is one form of how i immediately set the foundation for respect of my person.
Psalm 118:14 The LORD Is My Strength And Song, And He Has Become My Salvation.
Moving Forward, Always Forward.
For me, I look at all events that happen in my life as how can i grow from this? In the last 5 years, i have apparently needed a lot of growth! (trying to-NOT laugh sarcastically)
When events that are highly disrespectful happen in my life, I ask myself, in what areas am i seeing a lack of respect? I then look for logic and rationalization of the events. I then identify these areas as places where i need to love myself more and plant seeds for healthy positive growth to occur.
When i want to receive more love, i volunteer, i dote on my plants or go to my pet. I shower everyone around me with love constantly! I feel happy when i am doting on those i love.
There is nothing that gives me more joy than to love on my family, on my friends, give love to my plants, to my cat, and even to strangers with whom i may come into contact with.
By showering the world with love i feel that love always finds its way back into my life. I believe this is one of the reasons why I have enjoyed volunteering all of my life.
I always trust that the Lord has made me perfect (in his eyes, with my flaws and all) because there's only one me and there will ever be only one me in history. I am unique in this way to Him. I love all parts of me, even the ones that i am praying for help with. I am grateful for each day that i wake up with the ability to share my love with those around me. Nothing compares to the joy felt when we dote unconditional love upon all of God's creation.
I love my father God. I love myself. I love all around me. Plus, I take ownership of my words and my actions. It seems that as long as i do not deviate from this path, God takes care of the rest.
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