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Bad things happen to everyone-even good people

Today’s post is on self care because today is Saturday self esteem class. Ahead of class I am posting my prayer this morning and my reflections. 

Read this post, share and talk to someone close to you about doing this exercise together. Then, give each other feedback on what YOUR prayers looked like. In today’s class we will discuss as a group your observations.

The social media universe has been overtaken with life coaches, consciousness experts, happiness promoters, success builders, and the whole bunch.

Not sure if you have noticed this trend exploding after the movie “The Secret” came out.

Point is, everyone suggests that all wrongs can be made right with the simple act of thinking positive. Just say a few affirmations per day and your dreams will all come true.

If somehow your dreams are not coming true, these experts will tell you to keep at it. You will also be told that you’re not being consistent. You will be blamed for not manifesting your deepest wishes and desires. However, you’re not told WHY some people manifest faster than others. 

This post is to address, IN MY OPINION and based on MY LIFE EXPERIENCE ONLY, why your dreams, wishes and desires have not been manifested yet. The answer is simple, Our entire life experience, since birth, is responsible for the mental barriers we have created for ourselves, keeping us from achieving the success and happiness that we desire.


It is my opinion that if you spend 1-3 minutes per day dreaming beautiful hopeful wishes and desires and then spend 23 HOURS & 57-59 MINUTES of everyday in negative self talk and negative judgment of others, well, the odds are that your negative thought patterns will just swallow up your one minute or 3 minutes per day. Consciously reprogram your mind every minute of every day by replacing your negative thoughts with positive images. Every thought counts!


Be consistent with your positive affirmations. If you jump around days that you do and don’t do your affirmations, because you’re too busy, then the negativity in your brain will be unaffected. The purpose of these affirmations is to ease your brain into a healthy transition, OVER TIME, to reprogram your brain. These affirmations do have the power to change your life, but you must be committed to the process. If you have time to visit the restroom and do your business, you have time to do your affirmations.


Judgment must be eradicated from your life. There’s no way around this point. When you say to yourself, “gee, I was really stupid for falling for that,” you are demeaning yourself and hurting yourself. Your wishes, dreams and desires cannot manifest as you push yourself into the ground. On the same argument, if you’re consistently jealous of others, if you compare yourself to others or if you judge other people’s lives and actions, you are again pushing your happiness away from yourself. These are all examples of negative self talk that must be replaced with positive beliefs.


Your experiences in life shape your beliefs. Your beliefs shape your thoughts. Your thoughts shape your words. Your words shape your life! I recently wrote a post entitled “Hate. Hate. Hate.” I suggest that you read it. Harboring any type of ill will towards anyone, regardless of how much they deserve to be hated by you, is just another way of eating poison for yourself. Allowing your past to make you bitter, angry and hateful towards anyone is another sure way to not allow your dreams, wishes and blessings from manifesting into your life. Understand that if you hate someone or an entire race of people, or an entire political party, hating anything or anyone will create a concrete barrier that will never allow happiness into your life. Want to be happy and successful? You must make the powerful decision/important choice to consciously let go of all of the past trauma and current hate in your heart and get rid of it. 

I can go on and on, but my classes are for this purpose. Here are the top 4 points I have been covering in class for over a year now. Start with these.

Now, for the prayer.

Understand that in order to achieve any success and be able to feel real happiness, we MUST regain all of the power that had been given to anyone and everything outside of you and me.

My life is only between God and me. That’s it. There’s no one else involved in my life. No one. All decisions , actions, circumstances, relationships, situations, everything in my life has been created and caused by my thinking; all of it. No exception. MY beliefs shape MY life. The evil, bad and hurtful parts of my life I unknowingly created for myself to hurt myself. The reason for this is explained below. 

Sometimes unresolved childhood trauma grows out of control in our efforts to keep our sanity when surviving very painful situations. In my psychological efforts to shield myself from such pain, defenses were created mentally. It is these “defense mechanisms” that continue to grow out of control as we age. Opening the mental door to this knowledge, internalizing the truth of these words allows those trauma bonds (hurtful beliefs) to finally be broken. The only way to shed the trauma from childhood, which are responsible for the current destructive circumstances in my life and in order to regain the path of happiness, is to acknowledge the truth that —life is all created within my mind and only within my mind.— 

Nothing external to me influences my life circumstances. Nothing. No one. The more I’ve been clearing my negative thoughts about others (custody case) and myself (shame), the easier and clearer the realizations have become.  Every morning I pray my normal prayers. The following is a testimonial of my thoughts. I wish for you to try to imagine yourself going thru my same thoughts.

During my prayers, when my mind stops wandering off to my external and current life circumstances, I feel a CONNECTION to MYSELF. Sometimes it is a feeling that I had not felt in a long time. Sometimes it is so deep it is as if I were a child again ; that close of a connection to “myself.”

I have spoken to this “self”. I explained to it that life is only between God and me. This “self” feels external to “me.” This “self” seems angry, upset and even demands that I realize that it is doing what it needs for my own safety and for my own good. During these prayers I immediately understand my life circumstances. Immediately I FEEL that my child’s absence, my rape and attempted murders, the court system abuse, being alone with no intimate partner most of my life, the struggles that I have faced throughout life, just everything literally cascades before my mind and I understand “why” it has happened in my life. I understood that everything had been created by me, by my SUBCONSCIOUS, by this “self.”  

The purpose for self creating such painful events in my life was to give this “self” inside of me reasons to keep defending me. My painful life events give it power and it maintains control over my life by creating more and more painful obstacles.

The more attacked that my “self” felt by the “external” world, the more empowered and more powerful it became in my mind as I aged. The more damage to my life, the more happy that my subconscious “self” became knowing that it was rescuing me from it all. Emotional shock comes over me when I realize all of this. Then, a secondary shock comes over me as I realized how I had created everything. 

Finally, and this was the most important step, a third wave of shock, the most powerful shock came to me is when —I realized that all of this is a choice.— All I had to do was REGAIN my power. All I had to do was DEMAND from MYSELF to place my war “self” back where she goes. I explained this to my internal/mental “self”, that I am no longer at war with anyone or anything. My heart then fills with peace every time. My prayers then turned to God. My prayers were happy prayers. It had been a long time since I had felt joy in my prayers. My conversation with God was to thank my creator for my life, for my breath, for the patience God has had with me as I have stumbled my life. My conversation with God included my gratitude for forgiving my prior hurtful behavior. (I yelled, cursed and denounced God Jan 2015.) I blamed God for my child’s suffering and the current custody case corruption at the courts. My realizations also projected images in my mind. These images stated that my agreement for a child was with God. My understanding was wrong before. Now, I understand that this amazing life and my child are gifts from God. My child was MY gift and that I have allowed my “self” to keep me in the most deep pit of sorrowful suffering, in order to break itself free. 

The “self” knows it is not supposed to be in control of my life. It is there temporarily until I choose to feel empowered enough to manage my life without it. This post is meant to guide you to do that. In my life, it has taken something as horrific as what I’ve endured for the last 7 years for me to understand what life, no, for me to understand what MY life has been about. These morning prayers have led me to understand my purpose of my life and I hope they help you too. As I thanked God for these realizations. My eyes opened to thank God for my child and to ask again when my child would be safe again with me. (You can think of your most burning desires. This is mine.) My answer was clear. Anytime that I choose to have him back, he is returned, by His Grace. My prayers turned to thank God for allowing me to see the truth about the custody situation and I then focused on my child coming back into the safety of my arms. (Again, you can focus on your deeper, most burning desires. This is just mine.)

My mind then went back to my “self”. This “self” complained. This “self” explained I needed the pain and suffering for me to grow more. “I don’t think so.” This is what I responded to these thoughts. Before more negative thoughts could continue to monopolize my attention, I began to speak to this “self.” My statements were strong yet loving. I did not feel anger towards this “self” that had navigated thru so many painful and life threatening events in my life. Instead, I could hear me speak over to this “self” and I said: 1. Thank you for protecting me all of these years. 2. Thank you for doing your best to keep me alive. 3. Thank you for your presence. 4. Thank you for allowing me to see these truths this morning. 5. Without your permission, I could not have had access to this state of mind. 6. Because your purpose is to help me survive, I am here to thank you for your past efforts. 7. I am also here to say that your place is not to be in charge of my subconscious, any longer. 8. There may have been a time where you helped me survive plus the painful circumstances were the reason why I turned over my subconscious to you, but that time has passed. 9. My subconscious now belongs with God again. 10. As the “self” you are no longer authorized to retake my subconscious again, without my conscious request. 11. My current request moving forward is for you to take a place where you can now go back to being on the look out for danger. 12. Your place is now to be part of my “gut” instinct. 13. Your place is now to alert me to future dangers because you’re my expert at danger. 14. Your place is not to keep me in survival mode any longer. 15. Again, I thank you for helping me survive almost 42 years. 16. To me, it is time for me to regain the reigns of my life. 17. To me, it is time to have the “self” serve my life under the new department head of “self security.” 18. The “self” that existed before, all powerful, in charge of my life is now to be known as “self protector.” 19. The prior “self” has now left the prior position and is now in charge of a new area of my life and now has a new name. 20. I am aware of the change. I authorize the change. I am moving forward with this new reorganization of my consciousness and subconscious starting now. 21. My life is mine to navigate and mine alone, with the influence of God thru my subconscious. 22. My subconscious is back with God. May God continue to guide me, love me, teach me thru my subconscious. 23. My romantic relationships, my business success, my court custody, my life is mine and no one can influence in any of these areas ever again. I have regained control of my life starting now.

Finally, I chose to be happy. I demand that I allow myself to accept all of my pending answered prayers. I demand that I accept all of my blessings. I demand that this truth is made reality now. With these thoughts, I agree to allow my child to be safely returned to me. (You state your desires) 

I agree that I am never to create another situation again to hurt myself. I agree that the “self” has been reassigned and is now called the “self protector” to guide me thru gut instincts and it no longer has any access to my subconscious. In the name of my Lord God and creator, I declare these things to be true, accurate and my most important decisions of my life. Now, I get up from these prayers, looking for the long awaited blessings that have been trying to come into my life and I happily all blessings now.

Do this exercise. Share this exercise with someone you trust your heart with. I strongly suggest doing this exercise with a daughter, son, mother, father or husband. Read this entire post out loud to each other. Then speak to each other how you felt reading it.

May this post fill your heart with love and happiness as it did for me. May it also help you sleep better at night knowing that your entire life is within your power. May you live life happier knowing that no one has power over your life. No circumstances and no people can influence in your life. May you realize that you have the power to resolve ALL circumstances today. 

Always with love,


Sign up here for my Saturday class on self esteem, self worth and self value. Monday’s class is on exfoliation. I teach a technique that has been passed down for generations in my family.

© Copyright ElizabethSite.com. Author: Vivian Elizabeth Marquez De La Garza. No portion of this post may be republished without written authorization from both ElizabethSite.com and author. Repeat:  I accept all of my blessings. 



Española, NM 87532
United States

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