Every Saturday Class is About You Loving You 🥰
This Saturday I had a few personal stories to share about my week. I opened the class for discussion on how those who attended would have reacted.
A special thank you to all who participated 🎉 You amazing ladies are hilarious! Here’s the promised post for you to share.
The following short recap will touch on a couple of the many points discussed in class. I am posting this recap because I feel the information is vital and I will not teach it again. (Plus, it was requested.)
Most of the information in my classes is new every day. The topic is always in line with the pillar of the day I am teaching, but I work very hard to bring you new information during every class. You deserve it 🌸
Saturday’s Classes are always about self esteem, self worth, self value, how these are determined and how to establish your value with others, be it at work, with family, in romantic relationships or just to feel more empowered when speaking to strangers.
The following is a quick short recap of yesterday’s online Saturday Self Esteem Class. But first, this GREAT image! Download it. Put it on your wall paper. Do whatever you need to do to make sure you read this daily and often 🙏
Insecure people will attack your integrity, your way of life, your beliefs, your likes, your thoughts, your dislikes, etc etc etc.
Get the picture?
Nothing that you do will ever matter to these people. We all have coworkers like this. We all have family members like this. We all have friends like this, although I quickly distance myself from people who show these qualities.
Insecure people thrive on shame and guilt. I’ve written other blog posts strictly on these two emotions.
Anyone in your life who tries to guilt you into doing something you do not want to do or shame you because of your past mistakes, these people are not worthy of your presence.
Train yourself to spot these individuals quickly. Learn that they do not change. Understand that their poor opinions have nothing to do with you.
These people are toxic and like to hang around other toxic people who do nothing but talk about others.
Choose to spend your valuable time with people who are positive about themselves, positive about their lives, positive about the future, positive about their work and families. Choose to be around people who will lift you and not tear you down.
Your opinion of you is all that matters in your life. Please make sure to download the image above. Look at it every time someone tries to tear you down. Say it out loud and remind yourself of your tremendous value.
Make smart, educated choices on the romantic partners that you choose. Being smart means only dating loving, monogamous, kind, supportive, generous, partners who listen to you and offer you their unconditional support.
The quote above is amazing because it touches on the mental aspect of dating. It touches on the physical/ sexual aspect of dating and it also talks about the importance of that emotional connection.
Domestic violence is not a subject I touch on frequently in my blogs because my vast experience only sounds like I place myself in a victim “box.”
I will never be anyone’s victim! This is the reason that I try to touch on the DV subject only during my high schools and public speaking events.
When someone is treating you poorly, it is only because you are allowing their behavior. No one can treat you poorly without your permission.
Make sure that you define your boundaries and do not concede an inch until you’re being respected as a human being and your boundaries are also being respected.
Many people with no boundaries have abusive relationships. I teach about how to set these boundaries in class. You can also watch YouTube videos on advice. (I will begin recording YouTube videos this week on self esteem and domestic violence.)
They way we speak about ourselves has an IMPACT on your self esteem. The image above can relate to many areas of life. In my Saturday class it is meant to shed light on the fact that you may read a lot of great online memes about empowerment and self esteem. You may even “feel” that you have a wonderful high self esteem.
I am here to remind you that educating the mind will never be the same as educating your heart. You may think that you have high and healthy self esteem, but when we speak, you do not express that healthy self esteem that you think that you have.
Here are two examples that I will borrow from a client conversation.
“Calling yourself boyish or bringing up failed relationships are not nice things to say to yourself about yourself. (Much worse to anyone else.) Just like you’re quick to say these “facts” about yourself, be quicker to say positive things about yourself.
I understand these may be facts, but why mention them? Fact is, you deserve to have the happiness and fulfillment in your life the Bible promises us. Fact is, that’s the past. Fact is you are ready for a new and wonderful relationship. Focus on that!”
Here’s a second conversation: “Yes, your mom may be narcissistic, but I suggest that you look for ways to avoid the topic all together in favor of concentrating on how you are learning from your mother’s narcissistic personality. Switch the conversation in your brain about your narcissistic mother being a problem and instead mention the positive lessons that you’ve learned on how to deal with narcissistic people.” The lessons from class that I implore you to see is that YOU choose how you see your past, present and future. You choose how you talk about yourself and hence how you think about yourself.
They way we speak about ourselves has an IMPACT on your self esteem. You may say nice things sometimes about yourself and may think that your self esteem is healthy but when I listen to my clients speak so poorly about their past I explain that I, better than most, has reasons to feel shame and guilt over not being able to properly protect myself, my body (against the rape), my child (against the rapist), my own life had been CHANGED (not destroyed, just changed) by a man and his powerful friends. When we look for the blessing in ALL, we will live a blessed life.
Even Jesus, who went to hell, came back “with lessons learned from hell.” Jesus didn’t complain about how bad hell was, he came back and taught us HIS LESSONS.
We can choose to do the same. We can either complain about hell all day or we can look at the lessons learned from being in hell and move forward more wise because of those experiences.
There will ALWAYS be opposition to your wishes and desires. Always. That’s just how life is. Accept this fact and look for ways to achieve your wishes and desires. There. Stress levels lowered just by understanding this fact. 👏 Please yourself. Yours is the only opinion that matters in your life. Other people’s feelings about you have nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own life experience.
You live life with a healthy heart and mind, ignoring the negativity that is just part of this world. No one lives a life without negativity. No one.
Expecting to achieve any level of success without dramatic people around you is just silly. Thinking that you can create a life without drama is just as silly too.
People have been hurt since their childhood and most drag that emotional baggage into their adult lives, never getting the medical help they need.
Allow drama to exist. Allow drama to exist all around you. Allow people to just be themselves. Just don’t allow drama to control you or your life.
See drama? Recognize it and walk away. Have drama coming into your life? Feeling angry and like a victim will not solve your problem. Instead, sit down and work out the drama with your loved ones or by yourself (I taught a technique in class.)
Allow drama to just be part of life. However, that doesn’t mean it has to be part of YOUR life.
As children we are taught to “please” our parents, our family, our religious leaders, to please everyone. Especially if you’re a woman. As we grow up, we are then taught that the world has a WHOLE new set of people to please.
The next set are: Your boss, your co workers, your partner, your neighbors, the other moms at school, and on and on. It isn’t until some of us reach 30 or 40 or 50 years old (or older) when we begin to understand that we are tired of pleasing others. We are tired of displacing our needs in favor of every one else’s.
With maturity you understand that other’s opinions don’t really matter much. We give value to the opinions of those around us. We decide how much weight people’s words have in our lives.
Then comes the next realization. People are so self absorbed in their own problems, they really don’t think of us as much as we may think they do.
Allow this to be a learning lesson to let go of the worry of what someone thinks about you. Who cares!? They’re probably Not even thinking of you at all.
The above graphic is based on the ancient Hawaiian healing mantra.
I also suggest downloading the picture above. When you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, disappoonted, sad, depressed, anxious, basically when you don’t feel at your best, look at this image and say out loud the messages.
If your body feels unhappy about something, chances are this mantra will loosen the energy enough to allow you some peace of mind and heart.
There’s a lot of information on the Internet about this method of healing.
Finally Point #7
When someone names a new pet, they are taking ownership of the new pet. When someone labels a container, they are placing order in that area.
When we recognize and label an emotion that we are feeling, we take control over that emotion instead of allowing the emotions to get out of control.
This final graphic is also important to read. Sometimes people say they’re angry when in reality they may feel frustration or another feeling that may not be even associated with anger at all.
Learn to identify and name your feelings when a difficult situation comes up. Taking control of the feeling will allow your temper to cool down enough to make a more educated choice and to use your rational brain a little easier than just allowing your emotions rule your life.
Anyone who is allowing their daily emotions to rule their lives has a chaotic life. I am not a doctor. I am not licensed in any social sciences. I only speak from personal experience.
It is my sincere hope that you enjoy this post and that you share it with someone who may need the information.
Tomorrow’s class is on exfoliation 🎉
Always with loving kindness,
© Copyright www.Elizabethsite.com. Author: Vivian Elizabeth Marquez De La Garza. No portion of this blog post may be reproduced without written authorization from both ElizabethSite.com and author.