Letter To My "Suitors"
If i have sent you a link to this post, it means i am interested in meeting you, but i will not unless you agree to the following:
1. Book a $275 session thru this website. This booking will include a 45 minute phone call to discuss future plans for a date.
If you're done reading, thanks for visiting my site. No further communication is needed on either part.
2. If the first call goes well, and you would like to schedule a new call, every call will need to be scheduled thru this business site, thru an additional $275 booking.
3. In order to book a lunch date or a coffee date, or a dinner date, you must schedule a minimum of 2 hours thru this website. If you live outside of my immediate area, travel expenses will be added as well.
To be clear, I am not a "service provider" of any sort. I am requesting my boundaries be respected. My time is valuable. If you are agreeing to book time with me, it is for the purpose of enjoying conversation with me, and not for any other purpose.
4. If we choose to book a long date (4+ hours or a weekend trip) I will require that the agreed upon amount be fully deposited into my account prior to me leaving my home. If you do not trust me with depositing such a high amount before I leave my house, i will not trust to be alone with a stranger either. Mutual trust is needed for this type of booking.
If by now you just think this is hilarious, but you're still reading, let me share a few stories before i continue with my list.
Today, March 26, 2019, I had a 65+ year old man, whose identity i will respect, contact me for coffee. I gave him a burner number to text me on. He asked me to drive 1-1.5 hours away in order to meet him at his preferred location (1-1.5 hr each way plus traffic), at his convenience, at his location of his choice, on the day and time that he had picked for me.
I will remind my readers that this man claimed to be 65 years old on his online dating profile but looked 80+. He is a native of Ottawa, Canada and claims to live 5-6 months out of the year in Phoenix, AZ.
When i made the observation that he was asking me to drive to him, adding at least 2.5-3 hours to my travel time, just for him to not be inconvenienced, FOR COFFEE, I asked if he was willing to reimburse me for travel time and for my gas.
He immediately became offended! He said a slew of words, which i will not repeat (so on top of all of THAT he was verbally abusive to a me-a stranger he had barely texted less than 4 times with). As i rushed to the online dating app to block him, a final text came in before i blocked him off my burner phone too. He called me a gold digger.
I would like to expand on the gold digger concept that so many financially-challenged men use so quickly when they encounter a woman who is OUT OF THEIR LEAGUE.
As a strong woman that has strict standards, boundaries and am mentally healthy, I will NOT waste my time with potential admirers who do not have the cash to support my lifestyle. This is not being a gold digger. This decision comes from not wanting to waste my time on men who cannot afford a woman of my caliber. Everyone wants to drive a Rolls Royce, not everybody can afford one.
This is not harsh. This is simple economics. This is not mean to demean anyone with a lower socio-economic level than myself. I am simply stating that i am an extremely attractive woman, who is very well educated, who can hold a conversation on ANY topic that you might think of and consider myself an amazing and valuable find!
If a man who is beneath me is offended by my standards, the problem does not lie with me. It is obvious and common sense that the problem lies with the man who is reaching for a woman who is WAY above his level. The insults come in as the inferior man attempts to humiliate and bring down a superior woman.
Moving forward, any man who tries to book a phone call with me, or a date with me MUST prove that he can afford my company. The truth is i will not date a man who cannot afford my shopping lifestyle. Fact is, i will not date a man who is not willing to support my shopping habits for the rest of my life. Why would i?! Makes no sense to waste my time on men who cannot make me happy.
There is absolutely NO reason conceivable that i would consider dating a man who does not understand my value before asking me out.
If he doesn't understand my value, he has no reason to ask me out.
If he does understand my value, then he will gladly abide by my boundaries and invest in his time spent with me.
Over the last 5 years I've noticed an alarming trend in the online dating community. My online encounters have become extremely abusive with men demanding free time, free texts, free phone calls, free everything.
I am not sure what my fellow single women are doing to encourage this type of troglodyte behavior, but i can say that in the last 5 years things in the online dating community have changed dramatically; for the worse.
Not sure if this timing corresponds with the FOSTA laws being passed (don't even get me started on that). I believe that when FOSTA was passed, the sex industry went into a panic. (I recently read an article on the subject.) The sex workers have now infiltrated every single traditional online dating app, which used to be for people looking for love.
The infiltration of desperate sex workers into the online dating community has created a tremendously damaging shift against women and women's dignity, in my experience.
I, of course, will not stand for the abuse.
I am old enough to understand that I can make a living off my brain. I have been making a living off my own work since i was 8 YEARS old. I have always worked. Even with the disastrous things that have been done to me by Gerard Lavelle and Debra Ramirez in Albuquerque, NM, i work every day and continue to look for ways to move forward. I have never relied on anything else besides my brain to make a living.
I've always kept hope that someday God will provide me with the type of man that i deserve. I take ownership, accountability and responsibility for picking 2 very abusive men the last 7-8 years.
Recently, I had one of those men disrespect me so much that my father intervened. My father asked me for forgiveness. He asked me if i had ever witnessed him disrespecting my mother. Of course, I answered no.
My father then stated in a serious tone that he felt disappointed in himself for not having taught me the true value of an amazing woman, such as myself. He felt sad that i would choose men who were so beneath me. He asked me to please consider these words of advice moving forward. I have and this is part of the reason for this blog post. I vowed to him to never let another man disrespect me.
This new process, to speak to me, will weed out all unwanted and unworthy suitors. As i was putting this together today, out of the blue, i had this 65+ year old man pull this humorous incident.
At first I considered cancelling my online dating profiles, I have almost a dozen. I considered giving up my income that i generate by writing articles for the online dating companies. I considered just throwing my hands up in the air and saying, I've been alone for most of my life, might as well give up now. After all, I've only dated in small pockets throughout my life. What's the big deal about never finding another partner again?
Fact is, I am not interested in settling for an abusive, cheap, idiot. I am not wiling to waste my time on losers who see me as a "gold digger" because i ask for my time to be respected.
I am not willing to put up with abusive men who blame everyone for their actions. They do not see that's why they don't succeed in life. They are cheap and poor because they blame everyone for THEIR life choices.
To the men who may possibly read this far, you need to understand that women never loose their value, no matter how old we are. I am laughing a little here at the fact that i even have to say this. Begs to ask the question what type of women raised these guys! To reiterate: A woman always has value. Until the day that she dies, a woman is the most valuable and most influential being in a man's life.
If you go around treating women like trash and then calling them gold diggers because they refuse to be treated like a piece of trash, then the problem is obviously YOU and not the woman.
Another point here. Women are NOT gold diggers. WOMEN ARE THE GOLD THAT MEN DIG FOR. Women are the gold. Women are the wealth. The right woman will make or break your life. Women are priceless.
It is a fact that if you have accumulated wealth and power, a different caliber of women will be attracted to you than if you never figured out how to make a living.
Men who are secure in their finances are happy to take care of the woman they date. Men who are financially secure are happy to make sure that their chosen partner is financially taken care of as well.
Men who look for women who have low self esteem will be utterly discouraged when they see my standards of pricing for a single phone call.
I am valuable. If you do not see my value and if you do not pay for my valuable presence and time, then i will NOT speak to you. There is zero incentive for me to speak to a man who doesn't understand my value.
After much consideration and after talking it over with my father, I am not cancelling all of my online dating accounts because it is part of my job. I am however, refusing to communicate with anyone again, unless they've paid my fee to schedule a call.
I've wasted so many texts with men who are irresponsible and straight out rude, that I'm not willing to waste another second of my life.
I've had men forget my name. I've had men forget what state i live in. I've had men call me a different name. I've had men schedule a call and stand me up. I've had men be abusive. I've had men ignore my texts. I've had men block me on their profiles because i took "too long to respond." I've had unpleasant experiences communicating with men who are on the prowl online seeing just how many naive women will give free sex.
It should be clear by now that if i am charging for a single phone call, this payment is ONLY for my time. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES am i willing to consider ANY TYPE OF INTIMACY WITH ANYONE based on scheduling a call!
Absolutely, under no circumstances will i consider putting my radiant health, my safety and my well being in jeopardy. I have been abstinent for the better part of 8 years and will remain so until i find a man that fits my ideal.
I am not looking for a "perfect man." I am however looking for a man whose "emotional baggage" is acceptable by me and who will accept MY "emotional baggage" in return. This will be the perfect man for me to go out on a date with. He will understand that my boundaries are non-negotiable. He will understand the value of my time. He will understand just how valuable I am.
So, to wrap this up, not sure if anyone will finish reading this, but if there is someone who does, recap: I will not text, schedule a call or schedule a meet until you pay for my time thru my website.
I am not a call girl. I am not a "service provider." The payment is to schedule a call only and is NOT meant to be a payment for any type of illegal activity, such as prostitution.
I am a woman of strong boundaries and my boundaries are non-negotiable. I am happy growing old alone, rather than put up with a cheating, lying, scumbag, loser, that doesn't understand my worth.
One final thing, if you do choose to pay to open communication with me, I expect that you will have the financial capabilities to gift me appropriate gifts moving forward during our dates. Constant gifts and flowers are expected, just like you expect me to be constantly loving and caring and attentive.
Big bonus to politically conservative men!
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